While it is doubtful that any of the upright citizens that make up the readership of our fine blog will ever need the services of the Pardon Attorney, it is good to now where to go if you need an Executive Branch "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
According to the official web site (click here to open in a new browser window) "The Office of the Pardon Attorney, in consultation with the Attorney General or his designee, assists the President in the exercise of executive clemency as authorized under Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution. Under the Constitution, the President's clemency power extends only to federal criminal offenses. All requests for executive clemency for federal offenses are directed to the Pardon Attorney for investigation and review. The Pardon Attorney prepares the Department's recommendation to the President for final disposition of each application. Executive clemency may take several forms, including pardon, commutation of sentence, remission of fine or restitution, and reprieve."
This site is truly a one-stop-shopping source the forms and regulations you will need to get the ball rolling on your personal pardon. In addition, there are fascinating statistics on the forgiveness of past and current presidents. For example: of the 6 cases commuted by George W. Bush as of today, 5 were for drug related offenses -- the sixth was for Lewis "Scooter" Libby's conviction for obstruction of justice, false statements, and perjury. Go figure.